“Two days before Christmas, I only want one thing. Peace on earth and a Superbowl ring.”

So sings Bum in “Bum Phillips All-American Opera”, kicking off at La MaMa and presented by Monk Parrots, a non-profit group that seeks to cultivate “new audiences for new forms.” Bum Phillips, the beloved coach of the Houston Oilers during the late 1970s, never got his ring. He was known for witty and occasionally perplexing “Bumisms”, which are used as lyrics -- “That boy could throw a football through a car wash and not get it wet,” for example.

Bum is portrayed by baritone Garey Ramsey in a well-sung, well-acted performance. He is the heart of this production, and much like Bum himself he is hard not to love. Unfortunately the show has little emotional depth; you are supposed to love Bum, admire him for his old-fashioned Texas charm and want The Oilers to win. But there is little drama; there’s no surprise, no heartbreak, no catharsis. Most of Act l consists of exposition. His parents meet, his sister is born, he plays football, he goes off to war and the women folk pine away at the mailbox. The wittiest and most entertaining moments are presented by a chorus-like triumvirate of ABC Sports announcers who pop in and out of the proceedings.

Things get better in Act ll when there is drama onstage, and in this case it is the drama of the game. It’s impressive how a football game can be choreographed onstage. Director Luke Leonard and choreographer Charlotte Griffin have done a wonderful job. Done in a Julie Taymor-like manner, the football is manipulated like a rod puppet. Charming, too, is a love song sung to Bum by Debbie, his second wife, played by Alison Bolshoi. She manages to sing the words “Bum…Bum…” quite movingly, and when she ropes him with a lariat it looks sweet rather than silly. A wonderful performer, Bolshoi is onstage far too little.

While technically an opera, "Bum Phillips" looks, feels and sounds more like a feel-good musical. The score by Peter Stopschinski has a few John Adams-like moments, but most of the time it sounds like something quirky from Off-Broadway. Kirk Lynn’s lyrics are simple, and Griffin’s choreography includes some line dancing and good ol’ cow chip kickin’; in fact, the last moments in the opera show Bum indulging in his own private hoedown. Perhaps it should be reworked as a musical. I don’t know how many football fans are potential opera lovers, but I doubt “Bum Phillips All-American Opera” would be the thing to lure them out of the stadium and into the opera house.