Disney, rarely shy about touting its upcoming attractions, is very much going all-out this year; a fat, full five-month ballyhoo before its Christmas release of the filmed Sondheim/Lapine musical, Into the Woods, and a trailer out as of yesterday. What does this mean for theater fans? Easy. Watch out for your friends who love Sondheim, and expect indignation, some outrage, and a lot of bitchy. Here are some things they may say:

1. “It is so, so not right that Sondheim is offered to the masses who cannot begin to appreciate him as we do. Damn it.”

2. “At least it's Streep. She's the best and a Sondheim show/movie must have the best.”

3. “Streep? No offense, but the transition from witch to beautiful younger woman may be a bridge too far, unless they expand the CG wonders of Death Becomes Her.”

4. “Giving Christine Baranski as minor a role as the Stepmother is like hiring Stephen Hawking to teach third grade math.”

5. “Mr. Depp as the Wolf. Having destroyed both Willy Wonka and Sweeney Todd, he's now moving on to badly play another species of mammal?”

6. “It is irritating to have to slowly recite the lyrics to 'On the Steps of the Palace' afterward, so that my friends will understand how clever they are. But I will do this because I have to.”

7. “Sondheim himself claims this is a 'first-rate movie,' which has the less than reassuring quality of the husband telling his wife that she looks 'fine' before they go out to dinner.”

8. “Donna Murphy in Tangled nicely did the whole, wicked mom of Rapunzel thing, including the maternal neediness ballad. Is Disney planning on taking itself to court?”

9. “It is so, so not right that there's a new song or two in this, because the masses should not be introduced to new Sondheim before we who appreciate him can learn it backwards. Damn it.”