Meet the Patels is the perfect documentary/romantic comedy hybrid, when the film opens we meet actor Ravi Patel whose face will be familiar to fans of Scrubs and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, he has just broken up with his girlfriend worried that his family won’t accept her, and has decided to let his parents, Champa and Vasant, find him the right wife. He travels all around the country trying to find the right woman, but deep inside he knows who he belongs with. Ravi’s sister Geeta comes along for the ride as the mysterious presence shooting the film (the siblings co-directed the documentary) which isn’t only heartwarming and entertaining, but also rather transcendental as an essay about cultural evolution.
We see the siblings, and their more traditionally minded parents, come to terms with the basic fact that nothing ever remains unchanged, and the film should serve as a tool to make us realize that regardless of where we came from, we have more in common than we’d think. The film opens in early September in the United States, and we had the chance to talk to Ravi and Geeta about the journey of bringing their story to the screen, their unique storytelling methods and how their parents have been bitten by the showbiz bug.
I saw the movie at a press screening with Patels in attendance. One of them asked me if I was a Patel, I said no, he said he was and that apparently he was your distant cousin but had never met you.
Ravi: Oh my god, I wonder who that was (laughs).
It was really funny because in the movie you point out how many Patels there are in the world. Is it weird for you to discover new relatives all the time?
Ravi: Yeah, like we say in the movie, one of my favorite things about being a Patel is that it’s like being part of the biggest family in the world. You pretty much meet a Patel wherever you go, and whether they know you or not, they will treat you like family. It’s one of the greatest things about our culture, it’s a very community, and family oriented culture.
Geeta: Probably too much (laughs)
Ravi: Exactly, and that’s what the arranged marriages promise you, being closer to your community. Also when it comes to immigration, my dad raised money to come to America and once he was here he started sending money back home, when I was growing up our house was like an immigration halfway house because my parents had people all over from India living with us, my mom would teach them how to drive, dad would set them up with their own business, and then those would leave and new ones would come in. It’s a really beautiful thing.
Even though in the movie you don’t bring up spirituality, it’s a very spiritual way of seeing the world: treat others with kindness because they might as well be family.
Ravi: (Laughs) It’s important to point out that not all Patels are necessarily related though. Sharing a name has more to do with where you’re from, which is how India’s caste system formed, so when someone has your last name you know they speak your language and you have a good idea where they’re from in India.
I found it really interesting that the biodata system shown in the movie, which has potential spouses send in their resumes, totally reminded me of Tinder and online dating.
Ravi: Totally! It’s all filters, the only difference is that with biodata it’s your parents going through the selection process for you, that part is quite weird, but after that it’s dating like any other kind.
I’m Latin, so I totally understand what it’s like to grow up surrounded by extended family, but traditionally in the States people only see their families in Thanksgiving. Was it weird for you growing up with classmates that never saw their grandparents for instance?
Geeta: When we were growing up we were constantly surrounded by our family, our grandparents were in India but it was crazy cause growing up our house was always full of new Indians coming to America. It was such an insular Indian experience at home and then something completely different outside. Our friends interacted only with their moms and dads, but we saw our cousins, aunts and uncles all the time. Even weddings, it would never be just us and our parents, it would be us and everyone else. “The nuclear family” was never in our lexicon.
Were your parents stressed about being in the film? They keep saying they’re so worried about finding you partners but they never seem concerned with you recording them and then showing it to the world.
Ravi: It’s funny, the documentary evolved, it started as a home video so it never felt to them like it was a serious thing. They were so comfortable with it first because how it evolved and partially because they didn’t believe we would do a film (laughs). They’re very open, earnest people, they are so authentic, god bless them. Even now they’re getting a lot of attention and when they go to festivals they’re like celebrities.
Are they enjoying the attention?
Geeta: They are loving it! It’s so much fun for them to go to festivals and talk about themselves, who wouldn’t want to do that? (Laughs)
Ravi: Mom called me once when they were at a festival at around 10PM, to tell me “your dad is still out partying”, and then I’ll see all their pictures on Facebook. It’s hilarious, every time someone comments in the Meet the Patels page, dad is there to reply.
I liked how most of the confessional scenes have Ravi as a cartoon, can you elaborate on how you decided to do these as animated sequences?
Ravi: The animation was a collaboration between 6 or 7 different individuals and companies, the idea came from us deciding as filmmakers that there would be times we didn’t want to put on camera out of respect to our friends and family, also there would be times when we missed important things, so we needed to find a way to share these moments in an entertaining way. Geeta and I are big fans of radio, things like This American Life, and sometimes when stories are well told on radio they are more visual than if you were actually watching them. The animation came after a long process, we tried other things too, but the animation blends nicely with the footage.
Geeta, you shot the film and we often hear your voice in the film, but you remain rather mysterious throughout, which made me hope you’d announce at some point that you would do an animated series about the Patels.
Ravi: That’s the sequel!
Geeta: (Laughs) Hey, that’s a good idea! We hadn’t thought of that one yet. Originally I didn’t want to be in the film, but slowly it just started happening, we allowed my story to come through a bit, but I refused to have my face in the film. At some point we realized if I needed to be in the film we’d do it, but by that point it was perfect that you never saw me because it was like a metaphor for my character, someone hiding from their problems, it’s perfect that you don’t see me.
Ravi: I think your presence in the film is stronger because of this.
Since you guys have worked so much on television, were you ever tempted to do a series rather than a documentary feature?
Geeta: Well, that’s something that we’re sorta doing right now.
Ravi: Let’s just say that you’re onto something…
Geeta: Yeah, we hope we’ll have something to announce soon. The animation series is such a good idea too.
Fair enough. Let me ask, were your parents OK with you becoming artists, or did they want lawyers and doctors?
Ravi: Oh, that’s a different movie altogether!
Geeta: They were very confused and frustrated when first I went into this, and I was 110% determined about it. I was depressed because my parents had been fighting against me being a filmmaker, I left a job I had in finance and they thought I was throwing away my education, I honestly think they didn’t stop worrying until maybe a couple years ago. Funny enough, they now both got the bug, dad wrote a screenplay, they’re auditioning to be in shows. Ravi, did you get any resistance?
Ravi: I’ve always been kind of a free spirit.
Geeta: You were also successful right from the start which helped.
Ravi: My parents were more concerned from a PR point of view, they wanted to know how they would sell me to someone’s daughter if I was an actor. For a while they lied and said I was a restaurant manager, which somehow seemed cooler to them than being an actor.
There’s a huge part of Indian tradition that’s about oral history and storytelling, and I feel that with your movie you’ve found the perfect way to marry Western and Eastern cultures from a very personal perspective. Were you consciously trying to achieve this?
Ravi: I think that was the fundamental conflict I was going through when we were doing this film.
Geeta: The first thing that happened was that we knew the limitation of knowing we wouldn’t be able to shoot some things for our film, but that made us lean on our strengths, I hadn’t thought about it like you said it, but yes, we come from a very strong oral storytelling background. In our parents’ village not everyone has a TV so people tell stories, our parents are storytellers, Ravi is a storyteller. I think that’s when that part of us came out. It was a nice surprise, sometimes you don’t know who you are until you go up against something. Ravi’s always had this talent for storytelling, so after all the tests and failures, it was glaringly clear that the best way to convey the message would be to simply have him tell the story in the rawest form possible.
Since the film is coming out at the beginning of awards season, are you pushing for that in any way?
Ravi: I’m not thinking about that, I can’t even believe we’re going to be in theaters!
Geeta: We’re freaking out that no one’s going to come (laughs)
Ravi: I’m calling all my friends asking them to go see the movie.
Geeta: We are such a small film! Even in the arthouse theatres, we have the smallest film. Our dad is on the campaign trail though, he is putting yard signs out because we can’t afford big billboards.
Ravi: They’re on Facebook, you have to see them!
Meet the Patels is now in theaters.
