Last Friday saw the debut of 'Red 2,' the sequel to a bit of action-comedy fluff from 2010 starring several distinguished older actors wielding machine guns and looking amazing/ridiculous. The original 'Red' was enjoyable if not particularly memorable: it premiered in second place behind 'Jackass 3-D' (which also debuted that weekend), scored a 72% Certifiable Fresh score on RottenTomatoes.com and earned $90.4 million domestically off a $58 million budget -- a profit, but not a noticeably large one. 'Red 2,' on the other hand, garnered a lukewarm 40% Rotten score from critics and debuted in an embarrassing FIFTH place behind an R-rated horror movie, two animated films (one already in its second week), and the awful and equally unnecessary 'Grown-Ups 2' (already in its third week).
Look. Sequels are a fact of life in Hollywood. If a movie turns a profit, there's about a 95% chance that a sequel will be instantly green-lit, whether the original film called for one or not. But how does a movie like 'Red' get a sequel, which nobody was clamoring for, over a film that actually did well at the box office and does cry out for another installment -- like, say, Pixar's 'The Incredibles'? So in honor of 'Red 2,' here's a list of some of the most unnecessary sequels of all time. (And before you start scoffing that 'Spider-Man 3' isn't on the list, keep in mind that this is different than the most disappointing sequels. Everyone knew there would be a third Spider-Man movie, we just didn't know it would suck so hard.)
The fourth Indiana Jones film ranks lowest on this list just because if the film had been good, no one would have complained about its existence. In other words, if it had measured up to its predecessors, everyone would have considered it an essential part of the franchise. But that still doesn't mean it was necessary. The Indiana Jones trilogy (which I will continue to think of it as) are three of the most beloved adventure films of all time -- it's not like anyone was forgetting about them. Everything about those films is iconic, from Indy's fedora to the bombastic theme song. Why Steven Spielberg felt it was necessary, nineteen years after 'Last Crusade,' to resurrect the franchise with the assistance of George Lucas -- who had just finished ruining the 'Star Wars' franchise -- is beyond me. Then add in aliens, CGI monkeys, an indestructible refrigerator, a petulant Shia LaBeouf and a hideously-bewigged and -accented Cate Blanchett, and you have an abomination that should never have been put to film. I won't go so far as to say it ruined the previous Indy films, but it came pretty damn close.
The first 'Hangover' film was a raucous good time filled with zany action and great sight gags. It was also the highest-grossing R-rated comedy of all time (edging out previous record-holder 'Beverly Hills Cop'). So it's understandable that the film got a sequel -- although it was also completely unnecessary, especially given the fact that the writers had absolutely no intention of coming up with a new plot. 'The Hangover Part II' commits the grievous sin of rehashing the entire plot of the first film almost beat-for-beat, with the only change being the city it takes place in. While plenty of people wanted to hang out with The Wolfpack again, nobody wanted the coma-inducing retread they ended up getting. Due to high expectations, the second film still managed to double the gross of the original. But in a rare showing of sense, moviegoing audiences weren't fooled twice -- 'The Hangover Part III,' which you may or may not remember came out this summer, didn't even manage to gross as much as the first. Well done, America.
On paper, this sequel was far from unnecessary. The first 'Speed' was a surprise runaway hit (pun intended) that, thanks to great word-of-mouth, managed to gross $350 million worldwide on a $25 million budget and kick-started the careers of both Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Of course people would want a follow-up to that. But as soon as star Keanu Reeves dropped out, they should have called it quits. Instead, they replaced him with the lifeless Jason Patric and decided to set the movie on a cruise ship. Because, you know, watching a big boat plow through open water is just as exciting as watching a speeding bus careen through crowded city streets. (It didn't help that it came out the same summer as that other movie about a disaster on a boat.)
In case you forgot, the first 'Ghost Rider' was bad. Like, really bad. It was a schizophrenic mishmash of attempted grittiness and hammy one-liners featuring a performance by Nicolas Cage at his most unhinged. (It nabbed him a nomination for Worst Actor at that year's Razzies). It did manage to double its budget, but it was absolutely decimated by critics (with 26% on RT) and is widely considered one of the worst comic book adaptations of all time. Instead of simply taking their profits, counting themselves lucky for dodging a bullet, and promising never to speak of the film again, the producers instead green-lit a sequel. Because there is no justice in the world. 'Spirit Of Vengeance' was, incredibly, even worse -- it had worse effects, worse dialogue, and an even more insane performance from Cage.
If, after watching this dreck, you assumed that it was created by a bunch of people who had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with 'Donnie Darko'...you would be absolutely correct. 'Donnie Darko' writer and director Richard Kelly himself said, "To set the record straight, here's a few facts I'd like to share with you all—I haven't read this script. I have absolutely no involvement with this production, nor will I ever be involved." So why why why did this ever get made, much less receive a theatrical release? It's a completely nonsensical film that spectacularly fails to provide any sort of meaningful follow-up to 'Donnie Darko,' which is no surprise considering how utterly that film did not need a sequel.
"Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels were both terrific in that stupid-but-lovable 'Dumb And Dumber' movie, I hope they make a prequel eight years later without either of them in it!" said nobody ever. And yet somehow this movie still got the go-ahead -- without any of the ingredients that made the first one a classic. Carrey and Daniels were the only reason Harry and Lloyd were tolerable, and without them, the characters are just unforgivable idiots. This ill-advised prequel featured more anachronisms than laughs, including the use of the horrid 'Ice Ice Baby,' which came out four years after the movie is set. Surely nobody else would ever try making another sequel to a Jim Carrey film long after the original and without him in it, right?
Who am I kidding, of course they would! This "sequel" (I use that term loosely) to a Jim Carrey film came out 11 years after the original, starred absolutely no one from the first film, and bears no similarity plot-wise to 'The Mask.' The first film was a critical and commercial success (77% on RT and the highest grossing comic book movie at the time behind only Tim Burton's 'Batman'), helped solidify Jim Carrey as a leading comic actor and provided the feature film debut of Cameron Diaz. 'Son Of The Mask' traded Jim Carrey for Jamie Kennedy; it traded a plot about a man who turns into a magic trickster for one about the challenges of raising a demonic child; it traded laughs for groans; and, ultimately, it traded success for failure. 'Son Of The Mask' has a 6% on RT and grossed $57 million worldwide, well under its $84 million budget.
The original 'Basic Instinct,' while by no means a great film, was at least a sexy/trashy good time that featured Sharon Stone at her most smolderingly seductive. This sequel, which came out a mind-boggling fourteen years later, was clearly a vanity project by a Sharon Stone desperately attempting to revive her career by repeating her most iconic film role. The result was a boring, predictable, unwatchable mess that didn't even make back half its budget worldwide. By its second week in release, it was averaging an abysmal $700 per theater -- its theatrical run lasted a whopping seventeen days. It racked up the Razzies that year, winning Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Remake/Sequel and Worst Screenplay. Congratulations, guys: this is the very definition of an unnecessary sequel. I have to believe that whoever gave it the go-ahead was fired and blacklisted from Hollywood forever. Otherwise there's no hope for humanity.
